The First Quotation Story

The First Quotation Story

NOW, this is a story we wrote with my friend Robbie, whom you've already met on other pages here... we were bored at one of our endless lectures and composed a story built up of quotations from various songs, their titles etc. The range of songs used is very very wide, from The Beatles to George Michael. See if you can identify them all!

There was a lady who thought that all that glittered was gold. One day she was approached by a girl called Lucy and a guy nicknamed Crazy Diamond. They asked her to show them the way to the next whiskey bar. She asked them if they were going to San Francisco by any chance, and showed them to a yellow-brick road which led to the House of the Rising Sun. While they were walking there suddenly was dust in the wind and smoke on the water, and it became dark. Lucy said: ’So, you think you can tell heaven from the earth now?’ He asked her: ’What do you want from me? Good-bye, blue sky!’ But Lucy went on: ‘What would you do if I sang out of tune?’ - ‘I’d ask you if you could do the fandango’. But at this point the long and winding road led them to a wall. A pig on the wing flew off of it, saying: ‘I don’t wanna be your beastly burden’. They went around the wall and saw a fool on the hill. They said: ‘Hello, you fool, we love you!’ And he answered: ‘You’re in the army now’. They cried: ‘Mamma mia, let us go!’ He replied: ‘You’ve got that certain something - c’mon, join the joyride!’ He was talking about the Magical Mystery tour. They bought a one-way ticket and took a runaway train. Rolling down the countryside, they got caught in the snows of New York, and there was a November rain falling. The Diamond started counting the drops: ’74... 75’, and Lucy said: ‘Nothing compares to you!’ He asked her: ‘Will you still need me when I’m 64?’ She said: ‘I will always love you. You’re my best friend.’ But then he remembered that too much love can kill you and cried: ‘Just gotta get right outta here!’ And, jumping off the train, he cried to her: ‘Don’t say your prayer for me now, save it for the morning after!’ And she said through her tears: ‘Take with you darling! Do you think you can love me and leave me to die?’ But he went to the Hotel California with a pain in his heart, where he started dancing to forget with a lady in red.
Meanwhile, Lucy thought: ‘Broken hearts can turn to stone, but that’s not the shape of my heart’. And she got off the train and went down a street, thinking: ‘I’m an alien, I’m an Englishwoman in New York, and moreover, I was trapped in this life like an innocent lamb’. And she thought also: ’Get back, get back! You’re so far away from me.’ But realising that he doesn’t her a single word she says, she decided to settle down in New York. She rented a flat on Cinnamon street and started living the city life. One day she noticed someone’s at the door. It was a man wearing blue suede shoes. He was a taxman, and his name was Death on Two Legs. But he was a great pretender and deceived Lucy, saying: ‘Oh, pretty woman, hi, my name is Luca, I live on the second floor. Could you light my fire please?’ She believed him and went upstairs to his flat. But there she realised she had been deceived and wanted to leave. But he said: ‘Oh darling, please believe me, I’ll never do you no harm. I’m not trying to seduce you’. But inside, he thought: ‘Girl, you’ll be a woman soon’. She believed in love and stayed, and he hit her with a silver hammer by Maxwell and said: ‘Come together right now!’ He took her to a river where the wild roses grew and said: ‘All beauty must die’. ‘Wish you were here’, Lucy thought, and just had time enough to send an SOS to the world and a message in a bottle to Crazy Diamond. The bottle went down by the yellow river and came to the place where peaceful waters flow - to the Hotel California. The Diamond read the letter and cried: ‘Tear down the wall! Open the door and let me out!’ But they would not listen (they’re not listening still). Somehow, he managed to make this final breakthrough; he ran to a dark desert highway and hitch-hiked to New York. He was searching, lonely, his heart beating for her heart only.
Meanwhile, Death on two Legs scared Lucy, saying: ‘Intoxicate your brain with what I’m saying, if not - you’ll lie in knee-deep trouble!’ She shivered and cried and turned a whiter shade of pale. But suddenly, Crazy Diamond appeared and cried: ‘Insane, you should be put inside! You don’t fool me!’ Death on two Legs wasn’t quite ready for this kind of resistance and went (very fast) west. And Lucy was so happy she couldn’t stop crying. Crazy Diamond told her: ‘Too many bitter tears are raining down on me. Don’t you cry tonight!’ And she said: ‘Now I’ve found you and never letting go. Love me tender, love me sweet, let my dreams fulfil’. He gave her a bunch of roses and a tangerine, and they went, hand in hand, back along the yellow brick road, went past the octopus’s garden and settled down next door to Alice (that very lady, who had the stairway to heaven). They had a son - a young country boy; and in a couple of years there was a couple of kids running in the yard. They lived happily ever after, and never would they roam again, cos they knew their place was home.